


In a universe long past...

by redoubtableEagle (emeraldEagle)



Category: Dragon Ball, Homestuck
Genre: Not Canon Compliant, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-31
Updated: 2018-12-31
Packaged: 2019-10-01 06:17:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17238965
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emeraldEagle/pseuds/redoubtableEagle
Summary: ...a young purple cat-person stands on his balcony.





	In a universe long past...

A young purple cat-person stands on his balcony.  It just so happens that today, the 7th day of the 12th year of the 18th millennium, is this boy's 13th birthday.  A celebration is to be held later today, but for now the boy is out on the porch connected to his room, looking out over the world around him.

What will this young boy do?

**> Enter name.**

He of course already has a name, given to him on the day of his birth, but he is willing to give you a shot at guessing it.  Go ahead, what'll it be?

**> Lard Blarpus**

**_*POW*_ **

This boy will be having none of _that_ , thank you very much.

**> Try again.**

[BEERUS]

Correct!

**> Beerus: Introduce yourself.**

Your name is BEERUS.  As previously stated, it is your 13TH BIRTHDAY, and a party will be held for it later today.  Of course, just yesterday you went to a party for your OLDER BROTHER CHAMPA's 13th birthday, and tomorrow _another_ party will be held to celebrate the 13th birthday of your friend LIQUIIR, and that's not even counting the parties of all your OTHER FRIENDS, but you don't mind.  You've always had a soft spot for EXTRAVAGANT PARTIES, and to this day have NEVER GOTTEN TIRED OF THEM.  This brings us to your INTERESTS, which actually aren't many in number.  You have an IMMENSE LOVE OF FOOD, and are something of a SELF-PROCLAIMED DELICACY CONNOISSEUR.  Your ATTENDENT, WHIS, always makes sure that you have plenty of EXOTIC DISHES to sample at every meal, although your GRATEFULNESS towards him for that is somewhat OUTWEIGHED by how much he NAGS all the time.  He's always making sure you don't slack on your BATHS, which you particularly resent because you could always just CLEAN YOURSELF like a NORMAL CAT-PERSON, but _no_ , he can't just let you be your natural self at all, can he?

Ah, but we're getting off topic.  You don't have many more interests to speak of, however MULE, another of your friends, has been pestering you and everyone else in your social circle to play this NEW GAME that he apparently made out of code he got from some ANCIENT RUINS a few months ago.  You don't particularly care about VIDEO GAMES, but you think that you'll indulge him JUST THIS ONCE to get him off your back.

Your ORBHANDLE is puddingSeraphim and you speak calmly but firmly.

That JUST ABOUT COVERS EVERYTHING IMPORTANT.  What now?

**> Beerus: Look around.**

The streets below you are empty.  The golden sky glitters as the sun shines overhead.  Wind skims the voids keeping neighbors apart, as if flowing through a finely-tuned flute.  A familar note is produced.  It is the one Entropy plays to keep its instrument in tune.

It is your thirteenth birthday, and as with all twelve preceding it, something feels missing from your life.  You would never admit this to anyone, but you consider the game that Mule keeps talking about the missing piece of the puzzle.  You don't particularly know why.  You've never had any interest in video games before, and you've most certainly never heard the name SGURB before either, but something about it just... _calls_ to you.  It feels as though it's your **_destiny_** to play this game.

But enough about that.  What now?

**> Beerus: Enter room.**

You enter your ROOM.  It is a large chamber filled with LEFTOVER FOOD CONTAINERS that you haven't bothered to clean up.  In the center is a FLOATING PLATFORM upon which lies your BED.  There isn't much else of note, other than the enormous DOOR which leads to the rest of your HOME.

**> Beerus: Retrieve arms from under your bedsheets.**

Very funny, wiseguy.  You already have two working arms, plus two working legs AND a working tail.  You do, however, go up to your bed.  It seems the sheets have already been washed by Whis.  You knew he was fast, but its only been a few hours since you woke up.  You didn't think he'd be done cleaning them yet, but whatever.  It isn't really that important to worry about.

 **> Beerus: Retrieve phone from your Sylladex** **.**

You retrieve your MAGIC ORB from your SYLLADEX.  You use the ARRAY MODUS because you're a lazy fucker who can't be bothered with more complex inventory systems.

**> Beerus: Check Pesterchum and see who's online.**

You don't know what a PESTERCHUM is, but you do check ORBCHAT to see if anyone is awake yet.  It appears that Mule woke up before everyone else, as he has opened a MEMO titled "GAME_FINISHED_DOWNLOAD_HERE".  Nobody else is awake yet, and Mule is currently idle.

**> Beerus: Download SGURB.**

You enter the memo and download the folder Mule put up.  Opening it, you find two installation files, one labelled CLIENT and the other SERVER.  There is also a text document entitled" READ_ME_BEFORE_TOUCHING_ANYTHING".

**> Beerus: Read the readme.**

The document is a setup guide, detailing the process of beginning the game.  Apparently it is designed to function in a CHAIN-LIKE MANNER, each player serving as a SERVER for one and a CLIENT for another.  It doesn't go into much more detail than that, but it's all you need.

**> Beerus: Install server application and wait for someone to link up with you.**

Mmmmmmm.......

Nah.  You have more important things to do before you play the game.  For example, you have to head downstairs to get BREAKFAST from Whis.  How exactly can you play a game on an empty stomach?  That's right, you can't.  You must acquire nutrition before doing anything else.

**> Whis: Call Beerus down for breakfast.**

Oh, did you just try to "be" me?  I'm terribly sorry, but I'm too busy "being" me for anyone else to "be" me.  However, I will still call Beerus down, as he _does_ need to eat his food before it gets cold!  Or before Champa gets to it first, *chuckle*.

**> Beerus: Whis beckons, and so does a feast. Get moving!**

Already on it.  You blast out the door and start descending the spiral staircase leading to the dining room.  As you go down, though, even with food fresh on your mind, you have a strange feeling nagging in the back of your mind...

You have a feeling it's going to be a long day.

**Author's Note:**

> So that was a little story I wanted to share with the world. I could've worked on Act 2 of A Box In Time, but school has been particularly cumbersome lately, so instead here's a harmless one shot I whipped up in a couple hours for New Years.
> 
> By the way, Beerus is a Prince of Space, Champa is probably the Time player, and later in the session that would follow Zeno and the Grand Priest would show up as the Lord of Space and Muse of Time, respectively. It's a convoluted adventure in store for Beerus and the others, an adventure I will leave to your imagination.


End file.
